Everyone loves a clever comeback. Roasts are a playful way to tease friends, family, or coworkers. The key is timing, wit, and a little bit of charm. In this article, we present 80 Good Roasts to keep in your back pocket. Some are clever, some are silly, and all are meant to get a laugh. Remember, roasting is an art, not a weapon.

Classic Comebacks

You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room.

I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

You have something on your chin… no, the third one down.

Your secrets are safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them.

You bring people together… just like a bad smell.

You bring out the best in people… their patience.

I’m not saying you’re slow, but it takes you two hours to cook minute rice.

Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.

You have something in common with clouds… when you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.

You’re like a software update… whenever I see you, I think, “Do I really need this right now?”

Workplace Roasts
11. You’re proof that even Google can’t find good ideas.
12. Your productivity is inspiring… if the goal is to do nothing.
13. You bring a new meaning to “team player”… sometimes, alone.
14. You have all the confidence of someone who skipped training.
15. You’re like a broken pencil… pointless at meetings.
16. You have something in common with a fax machine… outdated and noisy.
17. You excel at delegation… mostly when it comes to work you don’t want to do.
18. You are the human version of a typo.
19. You work hard… at confusing everyone around you.
20. You remind me of a spreadsheet… full of empty cells.

Friendship Roasts
21. You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, the day gets better.
22. You bring laughter wherever you go… mostly from people pointing at you.
23. You’re living proof that good looks aren’t everything.
24. Your advice is like software… mostly outdated and full of bugs.
25. You’re like a slinky… not really good for anything, but fun to push down the stairs.
26. You’re like a candle… bright for a moment, then gone.
27. You’re the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
28. You’re like a software trial version… limited, annoying, and always expiring.
29. You have the perfect face for radio… and the perfect voice for silent movies.
30. You remind me of a boomerang… eventually, everyone just hopes you don’t come back.

Social Media and Technology Roasts
31. Your social media is proof evolution can go in reverse.
32. Your selfie game is strong… just like your filters.
33. You have all the charisma of a buffering wheel.
34. You’re like a meme without a punchline… confusing and slightly sad.
35. Your notifications are like your personality… mostly ignored.
36. You’re like a low battery warning… constantly draining energy.
37. Your tweets are like expired milk… they make people uncomfortable.
38. You remind me of autocorrect… mostly wrong and very annoying.
39. Your group chat contributions are like ads… everyone scrolls past them.
40. You have a talent for tagging the wrong person… in life too.

Family-Friendly Roasts
41. You’re like homework… nobody really likes you.
42. You have a face for black and white.
43. You’re like a cloud on a sunny day… unnecessary and unwanted.
44. You remind me of a Wi-Fi signal… weak and always disappearing.
45. You have the memory of a goldfish… and the attention span too.
46. You’re like socks in a dryer… always getting lost.
47. You have all the energy of a sleeping sloth.
48. You’re like a microwave dinner… quick, cheap, and disappointing.
49. Your jokes are like expired milk… sour and unwelcome.
50. You’re like a puzzle… incomplete and frustrating to everyone.

Celebrity and Pop Culture Roasts
51. You’re like a reality TV star… famous for doing nothing.
52. You have the charm of a canceled TV show.
53. You remind me of a bad movie sequel… unnecessary and disappointing.
54. You have the charisma of a parking ticket.
55. You’re like a fan account… nobody really cares.
56. You have all the subtlety of a reality show fight.
57. You remind me of a canceled app… forgotten by everyone.
58. You’re like a movie trailer… full of hype but no substance.
59. You have the energy of a slow Wi-Fi connection.
60. You’re like a reboot… unnecessary and awkward.

Self-Deprecating Roasts
61. You’re not ugly… you’re just visually challenged.
62. You have all the luck of a rainy Monday.
63. You remind people of caution signs… everywhere they go.
64. You’re like a diet soda… sweet but completely unnecessary.
65. You have all the fashion sense of a laundry basket.
66. You’re like a book with missing pages… confusing and incomplete.
67. You have the grace of a spilled drink.
68. You’re like an expired coupon… useless and sad.
69. You remind me of slow internet… frustrating but expected.
70. You have the personality of a Monday morning.

Quick One-Liners
71. You’re like a cloud… harmless until you start raining.
72. You have all the intelligence of a traffic cone.
73. You’re like a GPS with no signal… useless and annoying.
74. You remind me of a flat tire… slowing everyone down.
75. You’re like a broken pencil… pointless.
76. You have the warmth of a refrigerator.
77. You’re like a pop quiz… nobody asked for it.
78. You have the accuracy of a weather forecast from 1999.
79. You’re like a ketchup packet… small and disappointing.
80. You have all the subtlety of a foghorn.

Conclusion
Good roasts are not meant to hurt. They are clever ways to play with words and tease people in a fun way. The 80 Good Roasts above can help you in social situations, workplace banter, or casual hangouts. Keep them in your back pocket, deliver them with timing, and always read the room. Roasting is an art form, and the best ones get a laugh without crossing the line. These roasts can make conversations lively, break the ice, and create memorable moments. Practice, perfect, and enjoy the clever humor that comes with each line.